Picking up the Pieces
by misskatey
Summary: Its been 3 days since Marrissa's passing, and noone's quite ready to face the reality. Ryan & Summer are going through a deep depression. Are they ever going to recover from this horrific loss? read more to find out.
1. Chapter 1

'Ryan' Marrissa said softly as she tapped ryans shoulder, which was hunched over his desk as he was softly crying.

'Marrissa, but, how? I thought…'Ryan began as he turned to reveal his red eyes and blotched shirt, from staying up all night crying. He looked in awe at Marrissa who was not the bloody, scratched up body he remembered, but a beautiful, elegant angel with a heavenly glow surrounding her that made it slightly hard to see her.

'it doesn't matter.' Marrissa cut in.

'The only thing that matters is that you're okay. You know, with me gone.'

'Marrissa, how could this have ever happened? How could you leave me? We were suppose to go to college together, begin our lives as adults. Why..'

'Ryan you must know, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my choice to have gone from this life. I know, you are really confused and hurt right now, but this is not the time to point fingers. Ryan, you must understand, as I had to, it was my time to go.'Marrissa cut in again.

'but Marrissa…'

'Ryan, nows, not the time for me to explain. You need to figure out these questions on your own because I don't have much time with you and I need to go soon.

'To go? But where? I need you'Ryan asked starting to cry again

'The only reason im here right now, is to tell you something.' Marrissa said as her glow slightly faded, signaling her time to leave.

'But I have so many more questions' Ryan started

'Now's not the time ryan. I don't have much time.' Marrissa said hurriedly, yet still elegantly.

'Ryan, I need you to find something for me. Can you do that?' Marrissa calmly and patiently asked as if speaking to a child.

'Yes. Anything.' Ryan said still in awe.

'Okay, I need you to go to my room, and in my desk, there is an old pink & purple craft box. Inside the craft box is a letter. I need you to get that letter.' Marrissa said with a heavenly smile on her face

'But why? What is the letter _for_?' Ryan asked hurriedly realizing his time was limited.

'Thank you Ryan. For….everything. I don't know how I could have lived without you. You're an amazing guy and I know you will go far and live a wonderfull, extraordinary life. I'll never, ever forget you.' Marrissa said as she turned to leave, a single tear sliding down her face.

'but wait! Marrissa!' Ryan called after her

'I have to go now. Goodbye Ryan.' Marrissa gave Ryan a soft kiss on the cheek then turned, a bright light surrounding her. And she was gone.

'Ryan. Ryan. Ryan!' Seth yelled as he pushed Ryan out of the chair

'Wha… huh?' Ryan lifted his head reavealing the very large pool of drool on the desk in the poolhouse.

'Dude, that's just nasty' Seth said disgusted.

'Marrissa!' Ryan yelled. Getting up. Searching the poolhouse.

'Ryan, you've been up all night. I mean, you just fell asleep. I think, dude, im really sorry. You need to go back to sleep. You haven't slept in the past 3 days. Look im sorry. I kno what happened, its affected all of us but…' Seth began with a sad look on his face

'No! Marrissa! She was just here! Where did she go!' Ryan exclaimed with a crazed look in his eyes

'Look, ryan, it was just a dream, Marrissa's….. well, she's…. Marrissa's dead' Seth choked as he actually said it.

'It was….just….adream' he said sitting down. 'get some rest' he walked out of the poolhouse and closed the door as he walked into the kitchen and sat down drinking his coffee…..thinking.

'a….dream? just a dream? No. NO! It wasn't a dream! She told me to find this letter. Right? But, what am I suppose to do with it once I found it? Will she come back to me? Yea, that's it! I find this letter and she shows up again! Yes! I have to find this letter!' Ryan told himself as he grabbed his keys and bolted out of the poolhouse.

'Ryan. Where are you going?' seth asked as he watched Ryan run past him to the front of the house.

'I'm going to see Marrissa' Ryan said flatly as he slammed the door behind him.

'what?' Seth asked himself puzzeled. As he began to get up from the table to run after Ryan.

'Don't do it' Sandy said as he walked into the kitchen

'Whoa. You just…came outta no where. Don't do what?' Seth asked

'You know seth' Sandy looked at seth.

'At this critical time in his life, he needs to figure things out for himself. With college in a few months, and Marrisa's death, he needs to find himself again. Marrissa's death, it….it took a toll on him. You know that Seth. And he just needs to be on his own for a little while, to……sort through things.' Sandy said

'Yeah, I know. Your right. I just have never seen him so….out of place like this.' Seth said with a sad look on his face.

'I know son, just leave him be. He's a smart boy, he'll sort things out quick' Sandy said grabbing a cup of coffee.

'And you too son. Take a day off and just sort through things. I know how close all of you were.' He said between sips of coffee.

'And after that, you need to be with Summer. She must be going through a hard time right now. Losing her best friend. She really needs you right now. She needs the support' Sandy said.

'Yeah you're right. I'll head over right now. We both need each other right now.' Seth said.

'Thanks dad' He said looking at Sandy, then grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

'Anytime son.' Sandy said as he watched his son go out to be with Summer.


	2. Chapter 2

1Ryan hurried down th street and then the freeway, frantically trying to get to Marrissa's/Summer's house as quick as possible.

'I **need** to get there!' Ryan drove, bewildered at what had just happened

'MOVE OUT OF THE WAY GOD DAMMIT!' he yelled out the window to the slow, carefree drivers in front of him.

Not long after, he arrived. Not knowing what he was going to do or say & just realizing that they might not let him in.Of course, Julie would blame him for losing her precious little baby. So, with that still in mind, he climbed up to her balcony without a thought and jumped right in to her room. As he was standing, in her room, he noticed everything had been un-touched. Letters and noted all sprawled out on her desk still, and books stacked neatly on the shelves. Her bed wasnt made, and her pillow was all ruffed-up. He began to tear up as he could distinctly picture her, lying there, peacefully, then waking up with a smile on her face as she saw him sitting across from her.

Ryan began to cry harder now, because somehow, in the back of his mind, he kind of expected Marrissa to greet him warmely as he jumped through her window unexpectedly.

Ryan stopped, knowing Summer's room was right next door crying also, and if he kept this up, she would hear him too.

He began to try and remember what marrissa said about the letter and where it was.

'The purple box' Ryan whispered to himself as he begann to look around for the small delicated craft box.

As soon as he found it on the desk, he opened it carefully, half expecting it to break into a million pieces if he made the wrong move. Once it was open all the way, he grabbed a the single item that in-habited it. A folded envolope, with no address, no anything. Just a single name that implied who it was for

_**Ryan**_

Ryan took one look at it and began to cry. Loud, and sorrowful. And as soon as he heard the door creak open just the tiniest bit, he turned and bolted out the window, down the driveway, into his car, and sped away.

'Poor Ryan' Summer said with a sad look on her blotched face as she watched Ryan flee so suddenly.

'Summer?' Seth called from her room

'Oh Seth. I'm in here' Summer sniffled as she took a long look around the room that once belonged to her sister/best friend.

'Summer.' Seth said in a sad tone as he saw what she was doing.

'Lets go in your ro-' he began

'NO! I want to stay!' Summer screamed at him as she fell on the bed sobbing.

'Okay Sum' Seth said in a soothing voice as he sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

'I j-j-just c-c-cant b-b-' Summer started as she leaned her body on Seth, crying.

'Ssh, Sh, its okay Sum, im here im here.' Seth said in that soothing never-before-used tone.

'Stay with me.' Summer said as she sat up and wiped her eyes. 'Forever'

'I will.' Seth said looking into summer's eyes, seeing the grief and sorrow.

Seth felt so sad for Summer. She was taking it just as hard as Ryan and Seth wasnt sure he could take much more of this. He couldnt handle seeing his love like this. But he did, he grit his teeth and was there for Summer whenever she needed. Especially now. At this time. And even tho her face was blotchy and her eyes red & bloood-shot from crying. He still thought summer was the most beautiful girl in the world and he would do anything for her, no matter what it took

'I always will' He leaned her head on his shoulder as he stroked her hair until she fell asleep.

Ryan was at the lifehouse. The place he knew Marrissa came to to sort out everything. Her sanctuary. Even now, standing on this little shack by the beach, he felt, like, she was there with him, and at that moment in time he was safe. And all his problems disapeared. Then he looked down at the folded envolope with his name written so neatly and precise at the top. He opened it, and began to read:

_**Ryan,**_

**_If you're reading this, then you probably already know that im gone. I know it will come as a shock to you but trust me, this was my choice. I need to get away from all that Newport 'has to offer' and since I know you wanted me to go to college with you, all I have to say to that is, im sorry. Im sorry for letting you down, but you must believe me when I say, im not ready for that life yet. I need to, just, go away for a while and see, you know? Like, like a vacation. Even though manual labor really isn't what people call a 'vacation' but it is to me. I want to see what's out there_**. **_See what the world has to offer me besides my already 'set life'._** **_And I know you wanted me to go to college with you and start out our lives but, you must trust me when I say, I need this. And Ryan, I am going to miss you so much! I know our relationship hasn't been the best, but I hope you'll be thinking of me. Because I know im going to be thinking of you the most. Im going to miss you the most Ryan. And I know our 'relationships' have been rocky and the past couple of years, with us, has been hard, but, they we're the best years of my life. What im trying to say, is, I love you Ryan Atwood. You we're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I learned so much from you, about you, about the world. And I've never felt these feelings until I met you. And even though im going to be gone for a while, I'll still have you here with me, in my heart. And im writing this letter to tell you, that you'll forever have mine._** **_I love you Ryan Atwood. Always, and forever will._**

_**Love,**_

_**Marrissa.**_

Ryan folded up the letter with tears streaming down his face. He quickly fell to the floor in a massive heap. Crying, bawling. He couldn't believe his eyes as he sat there, scanning the letter over and over again. Desperately and naively searching for some sign of return. Ryan knew marrissa wrote this letter just before she was going to leave for the boating trip with her dad but still, it seemed to...to fit the situation.

After a few seconds Ryan bolted up and left. Thoughts running through his mind. Confusion, then anger, then more confusion.

'Was she in love with me this whole time?'

'Was I in love with her too?'

'Why didnt she tell me this sooner?'

'And then what?'

'What would happen?'

'What would I feel?'

'_Do_ I love her?'

Ryan ran to his car still thinking and not paying much attention to where he was about to drive. As he backed up, and drove down any street, the letter ran through his mind over and over and so did his thoughts. He didnt' know what to think. He didnt know what to feel. And just then, he knew where to go.

As he was making a U turn to drive down to the model house, a car slammed into him!

He head was thrust to the side, breaking the window and causing his head to bleed. And as he was getting out of the car to see if the people in the other car was okay, he saw the driver and his heart stopped...


	3. Chapter 3

"Kirsten?" Ryan said softly, almost as if his voice had left him.

Her body was slumped over the steering wheel as if she had suddenly fallen asleep.

"KIRSTEN" Ryan voice came back to him.

He ran to her car and thrust open the door so hard you could hear the SNAP of it breaking off the hinge.

He fell to the ground as the door fell on his leg.

Quickly getting up, with his leg throbbing, he stood in disbelief as he realized what he had done to the woman who had helped him get his life together. And set him on the right track. The woman who served as a loving mother to him these last few years.

"Ry..an?" Kirsten struggled to say as she tried to pick up her bruised head.

"Kirs-" Ryan began to say glad that she was alive

"KIRSTEN!" Julie yelled as she ran to her friends side, pushing Ryan out of the way.

"Are you alright? Are you okay? Its okay sweetie we've already called the ambulance. Oh my god. I don't want to lose you too!" Julie said frantically.

"Im fine Julie really" Kirsten said slowly.

"You." Julie sneered as she pointed her finger at Ryan.

Ryan looked at her

"You GET OUT OF HERE!!! YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER AND IM NOT LETTING YOU NEAR MY BEST FRIEND!" Julie yelled in his face.

"Ju...LIE!" Kirsten began

Ryan took one last look at Kirsten, turned, and ran.

He bolted to in his car and took off, this time, heading...just anywhere else but all these memories.

* * *

"Summer, I want to ask you a question." Seth began

"I love you. And I want you to be mine, forever, and I want to do ask this before anything happens to you.

Will you be with me? Always? Forever? I love you so much and I want to make you mine forever.

Be my wife?" Seth said as he looked down at the peacefully-sleeping Summer who was laying on the bed.

She still gave him butterfly's. every time he saw her. She was beautiful, and his. And he wanted to make that permanent.

'Why is it so hard to say?' Seth thought to himself.

'If none of this would've happened we would already be engaged' Seth became angry and found himself hating Marrissa for causing Summer so much pain and ruining his plans of betrothal.

"Damn You Marrissa!" said yelled as he slammed his fist down on the desk.

"Wh...Seth..?" Summer looked up at him with a confused and dreamy expression.

"Oh im sorry Sum.. I didnt mean to wake you. Go back to sleep. I love just watching you sleep. You look so beautiful." Seth said. With love in his eyes.

"Haha youre funny. With drool all down my face?" Summer said sarcastically then laughed. As if she forgot all about Marrissa's tragedy and she were just living in the here-and-now moment.

"You look beautiful always" Seth said as he lightly kissed the top of her head.

"Aww youre so mushy." Summer laughed

"My mushy Seth" She kissed his cheek.

"Cmon, lets go somewhere."Summer got up and walked over to her dresser and began taking out clothes.

"Where? How bout somewhere that sells chilicheese dogs." seth asked

"Ooh that sounds really good" Summer replied as she truned around and started changing.

"But lets just get out of newport for a while. Im sick of this place" Summer said as she walked into the bathroom to reaply her make-up.

"That sounds good to me" Seth said as he held up her purse for her, waiting for her to grab it out of his hand.

"Mkay lets go...thank you." Summer said as she grabbed her purse and began walking out.

* * *

sorry it took so long to update. I've been putting it off for a while, but since the OC is starting up soon. Im gonna try updating daily! 


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